I Was A Coward

I used to be an employed computer programmer. However, since I wasn’t content with my salary and wanted to decide my job schedule by myself, I quit the company and became a freelancer.

Working as a freelancer was tough for me. I had to find my job, negotiate the deadline and the price, keep accounts, do anything by myself. Speaking of the bright side, I was able to decide which job I would take the next and how many hours I would work per a day. Generally, I was satisfied with my new working style.

One day, I got a phone call from a young woman clerk of a small company which I had worked for a few times. Without a preamble, she asked me if I had an available passport or not. I answered yes and asked her back why she asked me that.

Then, she replied, “Because you are supposed to go to Shanghai.”

What?! When?! Why?! Who…?! How…?!

I was stunned and speechless.

“Haven’t you heard it yet? Our company has launched a project with a company in Shanghai. You’ll be one of the chief programmers and work with Chinese programmers. I guess you’ll be to stay there for at least six months. After that, you’ll go back and forth here and there for at least two years,” she said cheerfully. She was positive that she was telling me good news.

After her call, about one hour later, the president called me to explain about the job. Actually, it was a good offer for my career.

But I couldn’t make up my mind. I was too timid to take the chance. I didn’t understand Chinese, I didn’t think I could be a chief of brilliant Chinese programmers, and I was afraid of living alone far away from my family.

I’m too timid to take such a chance still now. I think that people who can take a big chance are really brave. Unfortunately, I am not.



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